Big Bang Baby

So turn it up and burn it
There's a hole in your head
There's a hole in your head
Where the birds can't sing along

(from Big Bang Baby, Stone Temple Pilots)

Hope is

I've been working on some new poems for the last few days, but as I understand it, I can't self-publish things here and then go on to submit them to literary journals since they generally need to be previously unpublished.

Since I have poems on the mind, though, I thought I would share a poem by someone else that appeals to me. By Emily Dickinson:

254

"Hope" is the thing with feathers--
That perches in the soul--
And sings the tune without the words--
And never stops--at all--

And sweetest--in the Gale--is heard--
And sore must be the storm--
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm--

I've heard it in the chillest land--
And on the strangest Sea--
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb--of Me.

---

This isn't quite the photo I was looking for, but it's the same girl and same tattoo:



And then I found this very cool photo:


Both from sebastian's belle.

And while looking for the photo I wanted, I found this perplexing character. Giant blue bird on chest... lol.


From vincent swain.

A bit behind

I haven't forgotten about this space, I've just been on mental vacation for a week or so and I'm a bit behind.

I submitted to a literary contest today. Exciting!

Sandpipers

This is going way back.

At my cottage, when I was a child, I watched the sandpipers turn from black to white to black to white above the beach with my grandfather. The sandpipers remind me of him, and then, and the rocky beach on the Minas Basin, and the cottage, and everything. The sandpipers made their nests in little holes in the cliff face.



I finally figured out the proper name... it's the Semipalmated Sandpiper.

Image taken from Birds of Nova Scotia by Robie Tufts.

Sandpipers in flight over the Bay of Fundy: (the end is the best part)



Video from janetkateleighan's YouTube channel.

Mordecai

Thinking of noteworthy birds... this is Mordecai:



... of Royal Tenenbaums fame. (Which is one of my favorite movies of all time, if you ever needed to know)



Here is something very cool. This...



...leads to this:

(from Laura Musselman's photostream)


And I discovered tonight that someone (or perhaps more than one person) has gone to the trouble of creating a MySpace account for every character in The Royal Tenenbaums. I saw a good many from The Life Aquatic as well.

Because Eli was always my favorite, I'll link to him first.

Lamp

Birds on a wire lamp by eos Mexico. I wish I knew where to find one of these. I may attempt to make one... someday...



Found in this very interesting article.


Okay, and because this one is just awesome... For my brother: Bovine Abductee lamp.

Pfau

Today I'm sharing pictures of myself and my baby wearing a Didymos babywearing wrap...







This is my favorite wrap. Made by Didymos.

Hummingbird, Baby

Today on the metro I was thinking about the blog medium, and how it is so... something because it is starting anew at the end of the story every day. The reader goes backward though it, and may not ever reach the true beginning, just the end, over and over (if they come back). And it starts in medias res, so reaching the beginning doesn't mean so much, anyway.

Also, in the metro, I was thinking about topography and how I couldn't be sure at that exact moment where I was, and my location was reduced to "somewhere in the metro, between x and y," which is really not very specific at all.

But I came here tonight to give you the images that started it all:




(But mostly the first one)

These were patches I found at the Anarchist book fair when R was one year old, and I felt an affinity with the bird because we both were wearing our babies (and maybe flying away.) Made by the Beehive Collective.

Birds and Sea

Well, I had a kind of a revelation in class today, and it led to ideas for this blog. I'm hereby digging it up from the ashes. I figure that over time, my great plan will be revealed (or not a plan, what's the word?) and you will have opportunity for insight into my life and thought process. Mostly the thoughts, actually. I think this will be more of a sanctuary.



I've been looking at fabric recently, and this stuff appealed to me immediately. I can't figure out who made it, but it's Japanese and printed on cotton/linen. I love the ocean... and birds, well, you know about that. I bought some, but it was the last half-yard they had in stock. You can find the same stuff with dark blue, red or brown waves on Etsy.com or random online fabric sites, alternately known as "birds and sea" or "seabirds."

And you thought I'd abandoned you

I'm stealing this idea from my friend at freelearningmama.typepad.com.

Now 3-year-old DD's question of the day:

"Does thunder have a mouth?"

Accomplishment, finally!

I've been checking things off on my to-do list, and man, does it feel good. I think I'm even past the halfway mark.

Not sleeping oh so much, and approaching day three of pizza and beer and chocolate standing in for life force, but hey, it's working...

What is it about crappy food and malt beverages that makes life seem so much simpler and more manageable?

Weather, I love you

When things seemed the crappiest and least bearable yet, the sun came out, I drank coffee and worked (was productive!) and the snow started to melt. Funny how life seems so much better when things are melting.

(Winter is not my friend.)

Meme Time

I've been tagged by Emeline of Cochonet Rouge, and where she expressed concerns of blog loser-dom over only knowing five bloggers, I have to admit that the only blogger I know other than myself is Emeline (being new to the scene and all... heh...). So no links for you, Internet! I'm the end of the line!

7 Strange factoids about me:

1. My original plan for life was to become a neuroscientist.
2. I recently learned that my inability to add and subtract without counting on my fingers while being at the same time quite genius at complex math is a named condition: dyscalculia (While not all of these attributes apply to me, many of them are surprisingly spot on. Who knew that I naturally suck at paying bills?)
3. I am extremely (and irrationally) embarassed by exercise. Extremely. ie. I looked up a basic yoga how-to on the internet and tried it out in my bedroom, and when my partner/husband-man walked in I jumped up, shooed him away, and couldn't relax enough to start again until I was confident that he was occupied in another room.
4. I was "diagnosed" with Oppositional Defiant Disorder in junior high. (Later, I read up on the "condition" and determined that it was in fact a misdiagnosis, but the title still amuses me today)
5. I was vehemently anti-child until I was hit with a sudden surge of baby fever, and I've never gone back (heh...)
6. I'm an athiest (well, at least mostly an athiest... I lack conviction as well as faith), but I believe in horoscopes as if they're hard facts or universal truths.
7. I am terribly (and tragically) allergic to cumin.


“7 Things” Meme How To:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 random facts about yourself
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their Blogs
5. Have fun!

This afternoon, as I was putting Boy 1.0 down for a nap, I thought about the way that I should probably feel satisfied with myself for undertaking the heroic effort of caring for two small children full time, and yet I can't put down the idea that I should be doing something more. Like I should Make Something Of Myself. That making a home and caring for children is somehow Not Enough. That this isn't the Real World, and that I need to Take On More.

Even as I write this, the pre-children Self in me is saying "I don't get it! What's so hard about that? She SHOULD be making something more of herself! Get on it, let's go!"

And the Self with two children says, "I am soooooo tired, all I want is to lay in this bed, and kiss this baby, and soon it will be time to cook something for dinner, and I will do my best to include a variety of wholesome foods, and then I will attempt (without real success) to clean up my kitchen, and hang the diapers to dry on the rack, and put the toddler to bed, and then I can relax."

And then the Other Self pipes up and says, "Oh, no you don't. I know about that stack of unfinished assignments. I know about that closet that has been filling and filling, to the point that you can't let go of the doorknob when it's opened or the contents pressing against the door will force themselves out. I know about those bills waiting to be paid and the mess inside your desk drawers. I know about that stuff, Mother Self. No rest for you!"

Way back when, this kind of sleep-avoidance was commonplace.  There was a time when I slept every second night.  I accomplished very little, and learned even less, because my mind was addled by fatigue and various narcotics and caffeine.  

Well, that time is gone.  The best I've done lately is purchase White Zinfandel and Rescue Remedy, mix the two together and sip optimistically while eating colour-matched pairs of Spring-themed M&Ms.  

The to-do list is seemingly insurmountable... time's a-ticking, and there are two babies sleeping nearby and a mother who is living three lives at once.  (Okay... only two. I was exaggerating.)

Mama meets teenage malcontented sleepwalker-girl. 
Or something.  Mama meets heroic adventurer.  Mama meets 
suited, respectable dream-man. Mama meets aspiring 
novelist.  Mama meets truly employable human being.  
Mama meets non-mama. Mama meets ______.  A bird on the wire.  

The Beginning

I'm starting a blog on a whim.  I'm going to post my thoughts, ideas, aspirations and defeats on this blog.  There is a lot on my mind, and I want somewhere else to put it.  

I figure that if I gain a cult following, I can add it to my list of "completed tasks" or "accomplishments" or "significant contributions" or what have you.  It's either this or all the things I actually have to do... and oh, Internet, you're the salve on my spirit when I run out of life force to complete scheduled tasks.  

Welcome to my blog, world.  Hello, Internet.